Why We Complain

We human beings are terrible at noticing the problems we don’t have.

The tall man does not think of the plight of the short and diminutive. Likely he is not arrogant or boastful about his own height, but rather is host to an insidious complacency wherein the issue of height or size or strength never enters his mind, and he cannot conceive why another might seem at times insecure or frightened or resentful.

Nowhere is the problem so apparent as in our beliefs regarding physical attractiveness. The exceptionally attractive live in a different world than the rest, and that world must seem a welcoming, friendly, charitable world indeed. This is an issue most philosophers do not touch because our society hates for this most common of prejudices to be analyzed.

The effect of ethnic and economic background on the trajectory of a life has become a popular topic of discussion, yet still, no one broaches the painful fact that physical attractiveness and sexual market value likely have at least as much an effect upon how the world treats you, and how you respond in turn.

If an attractive person discusses the positive effect of their looks on their own life, they are labeled arrogant and conceited. If they discuss the negative, everyone perceives them as a terrible whiner.

If an ugly person does the former, they are regarded as bitter and pessimistic, if the latter, deluded and pathetic.

We all want to avoid taking on the pain of others and reaggravating the old wounds we have worked so hard to ignore. But if we dig just an inch down into the average person’s psyche, there is usually a festering sore to be found. A sore that reopens at every glance into the mirror, or at a person with a body and face that makes people default to desiring their presence.

Take care to examine what gifts you have, and what advantages you take for granted. Else you may someday be caught on a soapbox preaching to the starving that the sugar is not sweet enough.

Being Your Own Parent

Over the course of years, I’ve slowly determined that most of my flaws and ugliest tendencies are simply the things my parents let me get away with as a child. I say this not to shirk responsibility, but because I think we often flatter ourselves and over complicate the causes of our pathology.

Whatever flaws I see in others I fast find in myself, among them a certain brattiness that masquerades as sophisticated angst or existential frustration. I look back at the style of temper-tantrum or pouting I performed as a kid, and catch myself doing a grown up version when things don’t go my way.

My parents let me retreat into my comfortable spaces far too often. I was allowed to retreat when I should have been helped up and told to get on with it. My room was a refuge, and when I didn’t play well with others I had toys and gadgets to replace them. That privilege granted me the luxury of an early introversion that probably had even less utility then than now.  The benefit of such an early start was that eventually, introspection got boring, like mining the same stone, again and again, allowing me to be frank about what was once hidden and unknown.

They say our personality is locked in by age 4. But what you can observe you can measure, and what you can measure you can change. I’ve put myself on a steady diet of self-observance, and in many ways become the stern parent for myself.

Being willing to do this dirty work might give me a fighting chance at changing course a bit, correcting the things that should have been corrected some time far back on an elementary school play ground.

Sometimes it feels a bit like watching a nature documentary where I myself am simultaneously the subject and viewer.

I’m not saying it’s fun. But it just might work.

Why the Body Matters

We often operate under the false impression that we are and identity floating around in a brain, that is then housed within a body. Not only is this a rather medieval, pre-Darwinian mental model of experience, it is scientifically incorrect.

The human brain is merely the densest bundle of nerve fibers within a massive system that runs throughout the entire body. To believe that the brain is a totally dominant controller of the nervous system is equivalent to believing the largest tree in a forest controls that forest. Such a belief would lead one to a bizarre, pathological interpretation of all the phenomena within the forest. And if the forest began to operate under that model, it would become a rigid, barren place indeed.

No one part of a complex system such as a forest or our bodies can be said to have complete control or “intelligence” rather intelligence is that which arises from the simultaneous operation of millions of different systems nested within. The You being experienced now is an emergent entity, that though primarily manifested through the brain, originates in the organs, muscles, and diffuse nerve fibers throughout.

No wonder one gets a strange feeling when an otherwise brilliant person is out of shape and unhealthy. It is a strange contradiction to value the rational mind and personal expression over those components that make such abstract entities operational.

Consider yourself an anthill, not an identity floating in a meat suit.

Those many things that make up your moment to moment experience, though their function is not consciously noticeable are more important that what you can immediately identify as “me”.

Truth is Order

Truth is the only stable organizational principle.

It is the equivalent of “nature” in the realm of ideas, in so far as “nature” can be defined as what selects for survival and reproduction of biological entities.

The truth is what can be arrived at by differed peoples across time and space, and that does not change according to the beliefs of the preceptor.

“But matter itself is directly affected by measurement at the quantum level!”

Indeed, but isn’t that statement itself an expression of conclusions based on repeatable, measurable phenomena? Isn’t our understanding of quantum mechanics still contingent on Truth, even if only as a measure of contrast?

We are disinclined to place importance on objective truth to the exact degree that such a value system would erode our current mode of existence.

The Truth is destructive of all that does not adhere to it. Perhaps a healthy fear of tyranny is what averts our eyes from those facts and phenomena that would cause us pain and direct us to change.

So often, our relationship to the world is rendered toxic by a pathological definition of truth:

That Truth is whatever our individual mind possesses.

Such a definition is so flimsy that it either makes our behavior disorganized and chaotic or else our identities so rigid that we stagnate because any change would imply our previous presumption of the Truth was completely false, and thus contradict the very principle our definition of Truth is founded upon.

The Truth is not something you inflict on other people. If it must be inflicted, enforced, propagandized, it is likely not the truth.

Because if it were true, why would force be required to make it manifest in the world?